Greeks are Ruining this Country

Make no doubt: they are as cunning as they are dangerous. Do not let their moussaka and gyros fool you: if one of your friends touches one of these devil foods, kick it out of his hands with your mighty foot. You may have saved his soul from the country’s most dire threat.

An uncircumcised band of menacing Mediterraneans has penetrated the hymen of American sanctity, and has left us bleeding on the door step of a Tijuana abortion clinic. It is the Greeks that have systematically assumed control over the most important elements of American society. These pre-Christian scoundrels are closing their oily fingers on this country, hell bent on destroying our liberties and way of life. Greeks know only three things: to yell in their incomprehensible English, to yell in their incomprehensible Greek, and to plot the destruction of our God-fearing country. May God help us against this terrible threat, as the Greeks attempt to crush America’s greatest invention: democracy.

Greek influence has spread into every corner of American society. Unless we stop them, one day we may wake up and all be forced to smoke cigarettes and eat stale bread for breakfast.

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Jennifer Aniston, George Michael

Greeks have poisoned the American food supply:

Starting in Chicago and New York City and expanding ever outward. Greeks squeal in delight when they see a new victim ingest their vile poisons, as they know the best way to control a man’s mind is through his stomach. The Greeks have been verified to use various pychotropic substances in their demon foods, while chanting subversive messages to customers. It is no surprise that the typical Chicago or New York City native votes for the Democratic (Cut ‘n’ Run) Party and want to control our God-granted right to automatic weapons: the Greeks are behind this.

Greeks — rotting our guts and our minds.

Greeks have poisoned the American academia:

Look at the top-ranked American engineering universities such as Berkeley, MIT, and Georgia Tech, and you will find a terrifying statistic: up to 10% of professors are Greek. These professors generally have falsified degrees and obtained their posts via affirmative action, turning down more qualified potential Turkish professorial candidates. Greek professors are known for mispronouncing Greek letters, over-emphasizing “math”, and ruining students’ fragile self esteem by making exams too difficult. How can American students expect to succeed in this world if the college professors aren’t willing to just hand out As?

Greeks — they’re sons of bitches.

Greeks have poisoned the American internet:

Apostolos Gerasoulis is the inventor of the most useless search engine on the internet, Ask.com. The Ask search engine is notorious for providing child pornography to the user regardless of the search. Ask.com was programmed by Chinese slaves who are fed poisoned Greek food, and is generally only useful to pedophiles.

Greeks — enablers of online pederasty.

Greeks have poisoned the American executives’ phones:

The inventor and CEO of the Blackberry, Michael Lazaridis, is systematically stealing the most sensitive secrets of the United States and selling them to rogue nations. Every secret our American corporate executive speaks or emails through his Crackberry gets instantly copied to an enormous database, which is then sold to the China, Iran, North Korea, and the Soviet Union. Crackberries get their name because each unit has a special liquid cocaine in the keypad, which is absorbed through the fingers.

Greeks — always the first to take the loathsome advantage.

Greeks have poisoned the American vaginas:

The infamous Pap Smear test was invented by a Greek pervert completely obsessed with sticking probes into women’s cha chas. Georgios Papanikolaou will remain forever etched in women’s minds like a flaming machete thrust in the cha cha. He has caused the death of tens of thousands of women, as the Pap smear often rips apart a woman’s legs. My prayers go to the victims of Papanikolaou. Why don’t they just cirumcise the women and be done with it?

Greeks — the first in torment.